Thirty Three

On May 11^th 2023, COVID-19 became endemic.

I went to a doctor for help with my head and she said, ‘Why do you even live in the city?’

I spent every other month proving I exist to the government because they often have doubts.

I wanted to learn something, but in the city, funding doesn’t exist for the courses I need.

Why do you even live in the city?

Both my work coaches went on long-term sick in the same week.

When I sit down to write, all I can see are Tetris blocks floating down the page.

Thirty-three, sick.

Quiet Dog Podcast

In the video above, Adam Jowett reads some of his favourite Channel Static shorts. It’s nice to hear the words take on a new life, and from an actor no less.

Quiet Dog Podcast is Adam’s platform for talking about everything that makes his world woof (but quietly). From video game playthroughs, to dubbing Pulp Fiction with Northern accents, there is plenty of varied skits and chit chat to enjoy each episode.

Visit his page here, and don’t forget to like and subscribe. Gucci!

Clarissa Explains F*** All – SICK AF MAMBO NO. 5

If you click right here you’ll find yourself on another site, Clarissa Explains F*** All, that’s where you’ll end up. I wonder what letters those stars are censoring out? Flump, it must be flump. 

Anyway, I’m guiding you over for purely self serving reasons. The pop culture blog has recently put together a SICK AF series, with creatives posting videos, non fiction, poetry, and short stories, about how their sickness effects them in terms of getting a foot through the door in the creative industry. I’m in there too. I wrote about feeling like an alien living inside a bunch of flabby human skin. And maybe you too have sometimes felt like that. Give it a read, give them all a read, and then delve deeper and read all the features about horror and awkward sex scenes. 

Promise you’ll come back here still? 

 

 

 

If

If time is a circle

If the sky and the land are the same

If all minds come from the same space

Then who is Larry?

A man snores, a sheep cries.

Nobody knows everybody

Everybody knows no different

Katz!

 

 

 

Sorry You Missed Me

I’ve been missing myself somewhat too.

This Is A Target

You have to hit targets.

This is mine.

So tick it off something.

Throw something at it.

Shoot something at it.

Then realise

This won’t be the last target, and it was certainly not the first.

Back Pat

They say looking in the mirror each morning and saying one good thing about yourself is a great way of building self esteem.

Look into the mirror and move your eyes away from that receding hairline.

Those milia dotted about.

The dark circles which surround the eyes.

The flaking skin.

That crooked grin.

Forget all about those things and look right into your soul. And say something nice.

Like

‘I’ve never killed a person.’

or

‘I’m not all that bad.’

Then try and smile with that crooked grin.

Because you said something good.

Now all you have to do is sit back and come up with another positive aspect of yourself. Don’t panic too much. Scrape that barrel.

Bunbury Publishing LTD Creative Anthology Volume 1: 2016 – The Event

For those who knew me, you’ll be happy to know that I don’t talk much anymore.

No more nonsensical ramblings.

No more tangents.

No more confusion.

I keep my mouth shut, it’s better that way.

I rarely even go outside, so taking myself to Bury for the Bunbury Publishing LTD Creative Anthology Volume 1: 2016 book launch was somewhat of a challenge. The last time I went to such an event I felt disconnected from it all. I gave a reading and my mouth went dry. I spluttered through it then went back to the flat and stayed in bed for a week. 

The Solution To My Problems

I decided to go to an expo which focused on my condition. It’s an annoying condition which causes me all manner of problems, from work related problems to home related problems, to everything else related problems.

Overall, it’s just one problem after the other with this condition, and I was hoping I could get some answers, isn’t that what we are all looking for? Bill Gates found an answer, but he won’t return my calls. Albert Einstein found an answer, but my seance says he’s busy. So she let me talk to a Peter instead. He was insistent I’d been doing too much lately, and I ensured him I’d not been doing enough.