He likes them traditional. It’s easier that way.

She likes them cute. It’s adorable that way.

The pumpkins like themselves without holes.

With innards.

And not spending nights burning on the inside.

Don’t we all?



A stock picker found a rusted man in the back of a warehouse, completely covered in the stuff from head to toe. His arms reached eternally for a box he never would pick.

Of course the stock picker panicked. He panicked so much he had to ask some other stock pickers to check out the rusted man. This would delay customers waiting on the shop floor by about ten minutes, and one of the customers would make a threat of never shopping there again.

The stock pickers looked at the rusted man with much interest, but ultimately couldn’t decide what to do with him. One suggested that they douse him in oil, but another feared that perhaps this rusted man was a super stock picker and would take their job once awakened.

Another asked just why this came to be, and why no one ever really went into this part of the warehouse, but this was just responded to with shrugs.

So after much confusion, the stock pickers dispersed, leaving the rusted man to his fate. He could have been chopping wood for all they cared.

And you might not have guessed it, but I’m still there.

The Ceiling

It’s fun to stare up at the ceiling, making shapes with the bumps as a kid. The witch sits next to a bear, a star finds itself lodged into a cow.

As an adult it isn’t quite the same. The creatures no longer manifest within the bumps. You see nothing. And it’s 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon. A cat sits next to the recently emptied bins, a bank statement finds itself lodged into the sink.

Fresh Start

It’s time for a fresh start.
A time for putting all that crap behind you, flinging it with one hand over the shoulder.
It doesn’t really matter the age, anyone can choose to have a fresh start.
Start fresh any day!
Start fresh everyday!

Ignore all your debts
Cut off those warts
Glue on some hair
Suck out your fat
Remove all your friends
Rub out your name
Burn down your home
Burn down your family

Without such extremes
That fresh start will turn sour
Grow mold
Start rotting
Start stinking

But yes, fresh starts are free, and they’re here, everyday of the week.


I’m  making pancakes for me and my friends.


It’s an instant mix, just add water, serves twelve!

I’m cooking them up in quick succession, no flips leave any pancakes undone.

Thick sugary pancakes for everyone, they eat them right up.  Add blueberries, add butter, add sauce!

But when it comes to my pancake, well, the mix is nearly done. I add more water, I stretch it thin, I see how far it can be pulled. It spreads itself for me, it spreads itself so thin.

I can see right through it, its pale as my skin. It falls apart in my hands, the edges stick to the pan.

It’s my pancake through and through.


Add blueberries, add butter, add sauce, it still tastes fine of course!