Static (When I Found The Static)

The Girlfriend

The plastic cup is on the floor, wine drowning the floor. I think for a moment on how I’m not even that drunk, then I think on what I’m doing here. The sound of a thumping pop hit can be heard from the next room, a crowded room containing bottles of cheap drink, cold sausage rolls to spite the vegetarian host, a DJ who totally gets the current scene, and my colleagues who are happy to be doing something tonight, colleagues who I never see outside of work. We’re all here because of Wendy, it’s her twentieth year with the company, and she just had to drag us all here and drink away the pain of that thought. I feel so out of it I can’t even hold my drink, and that moment in the corridor was the best time to slip away. Have a great time without me, I’ve got to get up for work tomorrow… sure, you all do too, but whatever.

I can’t open the door to my flat. There is a distant sound of gunfire, a similar distant thump that the music gave in the corridor, causing my mind to gyrate, and my arm isn’t turning with the key in the lock. It isn’t even a tricky door to unlock, a burglar’s dream. Until he’d get inside anyway, can’t find much money in broken cups and yellowing books. Hell, now I don’t want to get in! And so with a few more moments of metal on metal struggle, I finally open the door, my little corner of the world.

It’s a small flat, one room containing a kitchen, mattress, television, side table, hifi system and one boyfriend, all strewn across the floor, just as they spilled out of the cardboard moving boxes they came from. The boyfriend is sat under the covers on the mattress, playing his favourite game, not answering the door while looking pretty vacant. ‘The World As We Know It’ on the PC hooked up to the television. It’s a fun game, I play it from time to time. Continue reading



Slime covers the bed
I slowly slide from covers
Only takes a day

I move two inches
A week has gone and shot past
I managed to dress.

I talk to my friend
He asks where the hell I’ve been
It’s been a year.

My unfinished work
Will remain so as I lie
This decade I’m done

This life is coated in slime.

In My Dream She Had A Chainsaw In Her Hands

In my dream she had a chainsaw in her hands
But no matter how hard she tried, it couldn’t cut me
For in dreams, chainsaws just don’t kill
She even took off her head, but she kept on talking.

‘There is more chance of death today than death yesterday
For yesterday is gone,
But who knows what’s in store today?

So sleep well and let me rip off your arms
For mutilation here has many possibilities

But no repercussions.’



Domestic Violence Playing On A Tuesday Night In Blackburn


I’d been waiting a long time for this night, Domestic Violence finally playing in a venue I could reach! The new album ‘Naked Hedgehog’ might be all filler, few killers, but the killers really kill! And they played them with the style and aggro I always envisioned they would in my hot and spicy dreams.

But there was ultimately a dissatisfaction to the gig. While they were playing ‘Real Shit Time Together’ my girlfriend was throwing up in the crowd. I patted her on the back in between shaking my head. As the bouncers sent her away, she looked at me and I shrugged at her, jumping into the mosh pit. Continue reading