I lie on my bed naked as I watch TV.
It’s okay, nobody’s watching.
I’m watching something grotty, it’s better than anything soppy.
It’s okay, nobody is watching me watching this.
Though as the action fades to black I see my own reflection.
Watching me watching this watching that naked.
And I look at my reflection and pull the covers over.
I look at my reflection and throw the remote over.
But there I am, staring right back at me.
And the only thing I long for.
Is a reflection-free TV.
is the absence of one.
Or when your arms are on the floor along with your intestines, because boy, you tried to carry that weight.
Whichever works for you.
I miss tripping over all those clothes piles
I miss untangled that mess of wires
I miss moving the plastic container boxes to get to my books
I miss holding my body against the door to keep it open
I miss climbing over a body to get to the shower
All that clutter, I miss it so.
What felt soft now feels numb
What felt hard now feels numb
What felt cold now feels numb
What felt warm now feels numb
What felt worthwhile now feels numb
These fingers of mine can only feel Cortopin, itches, and cuts.
It’s the new sensation, and I’m quick to the touch.