Sprinkles

I woke up with sherbet in my eyes, plus a pool of wet sugar stuck to the bed sheets and various  heavy sweat making parts of my body, I’d been having sugar coated dreams of chocolate land again.

Vacant Corner Chair

The vacant corner chair, nobody ever sat there. It was a cheap plastic office chair that came with the place, and only because it was left in one of those corners that always goes unnoticed. It was often lost behind cardboard moving boxes and discarded unwashed clothes, that poor vacant corner chair. How it longed for a human ass to fill its indented seating.

Seal

Due to a small drip which was left to drip drip drip slowly over the course of six months, the ceiling above my bathroom fell through, with plaster, wood, and dead spiders cascading out onto the floor, and into the shower, toilet, and sink. It was a real mess, I’m glad I wasn’t sat on the loo, or washing my thigh pits, or crying at my reflection, when the ceiling vomited their interior guts. And the drip continued to drip drip drip. To the drip, it had done nothing wrong.

The Day (And Night) The Sky Fell

The sky fell one day, and that was that. The sky fell on dog walkers, the sky fell on deep dreamers, the sky fell on morning commutes, the sky fell whilst I was sat down on the toilet. Number —, come on.

On the other side of the world, the sky fell on acid reflux parties, the sky fell on horizontal mountain climbers, the sky fell on attempted murders, the sky fell on multiple screaming orgasms. But not mine.

And once the sky had fallen, it brushed off the bodies, then picked itself from off the ground, taking a few million pieces of freshly spat chewing gum along with it. It had only gone and tripped on a cumulus cloud. And that was that.

 

 

Demon Keeper

I was put in charge of a small demon which lived inside a fortified hamster cage. The demon looked like a lump of coal, with small wings also acting as ears. The face of the demon was tiny , lost somewhere in the middle of the body, you had to squint to see that little grumpy demonic face, and the demon had to squint to see you. We all thought it wise to not gift the demon glasses. They called him Gary, I don’t know why.

Sweet Tooth

I found a tooth inside my bag of pick n mix, amongst the cherries, toothbrushes, cola bottles, and lips. Though this solitary tooth was not something one could chew,  it was a tough yellowing piece with a screw coming out of the top. I nearly dropped the bag in shock, but my instinctive reactions knew that would have been a dire waste of gummy bears. No one wants to see that, especially me.

He Started Walking Backwards

One evening he started walking backwards. He had people to see but only one place to be, back back, back, till he returned to his flat. He fell backwards and his tears also fell backwards, and his arms also bent backwards, and his spit also dribbled backwards, and his memories also journeyed backwards. The only thing going forward was a cracked clock on the floor.

Jigsaw Piece

I spent an hour looking for a piece of jigsaw amongst 999 other jigsaw pieces. it had become part of my morning routine. I would build a mountain with all the pieces, then push my hand through the centre to create a cardboard landslide, with the hope that the one specific piece I was after would reveal itself through chance, for it had to be chance, it would become my lucky charm, my forever calm.

Chocolate Brownie With Ice Cream

I bought a chocolate brownie with ice cream. It made me so happy I started to cry. It was so sweet and so soft. Every bite melted my sugar craving heart. It’s amazing how such a thing can reduce one to tears. The waitress was so happy her homemade treats could change someone’s insides, she asked me to come back to sample the triple chocolate sundae at the next sunrise.

The next day of course I came back, and I cried some more, before I could even order anything, before I could even flip through the menu. Maybe I could smell the cake from my seat. Maybe I could imagine vividly those upcoming bites. Maybe… maybe… maybe let’s stick with maybes. Sugar coat my eyes.

 

Pickpocket

Some guy brushed past me on the street, and I knew that was it for some belonging of mine. Checking each pocket, nothing seemed to be amiss, wallet, keys, phone, chewing gum, and Vaseline all in their rightful places. It wasn’t until I returned home that I realised just what it was the pickpocket had nicked, he’d only gone and taken my soul.