I decided to go to an expo which focused on my condition. It’s an annoying condition which causes me all manner of problems, from work related problems to home related problems, to everything else related problems.
Overall, it’s just one problem after the other with this condition, and I was hoping I could get some answers, isn’t that what we are all looking for? Bill Gates found an answer, but he won’t return my calls. Albert Einstein found an answer, but my seance says he’s busy. So she let me talk to a Peter instead. He was insistent I’d been doing too much lately, and I ensured him I’d not been doing enough.
So I ended up in the main hall of the expo and it was full of stalls from different charities and less charitable organisations. Each stall was packed full of leaflets, free sweets and a gimmick, from virtual reality headsets made from cardboard to rooms stuffed with fluorescent lights, which attempted to draw you towards them rather than their competitors. Sure they were all hoping to help with the same condition, but they weren’t friends, and they weren’t really friends to me either.
I approached one stall and I asked for an answer. They told me there was no answer, and that I should go off and volunteer, maybe shred some paper at an office, or pick weeds at a park. I told them I had a job previously and things had only got real bad in the last year, but they just shrugged and gave me an ‘oh well, that would make things ‘real’ bad’. She gave me some paper and asked me to shred it, ensuring me it would feel real good and become my next calling. I scrunched it up and stuffed it down her throat. That’s what I imagined the bin to be, anyway.
In the end someone was willing to provide me an answer, and that answer was to purchase a balance bike. With a balance bike all my problems would be solved! I could ride anywhere without falling off, and there was even a test track to show just how essential a balance bike was to my recovery, plus a talk from a balance bike expert to show why £300 was not a big deal in comparison to the benefits. He rubbed his hands as he showed me all the different models, and without one my life would surely fall apart. I’d wake up one morning and I wouldn’t even be able to stand up tall!
So whilst I still don’t know how to cope outside of my bed, I can balance well on my balance bike. It really did seem to be the best solution offered to me, so I took it. Of course I took it, wouldn’t you?