Swollen cheeks, dried blood down the side, baggy eyes, chewed up gums, torn out hair, smells off porridge, tastes of soap.
Sometimes smiles if you tickle them. Sometimes cries if you tickle them. Sometimes screams if you belittle them. I mean tickle them.
What am I?
Just a regular kind of guy. Right?
Stick these on your walls, cushions, calendars, and mugs, with stars, stripes and rainbows. 2018, let’s go!:
I’ll Get Back To You On That One
Yeah I’d love to meet up again. Just note that if you ask me, I’ll always be busy.
That sounds great, let’s do it! Just remind me to ghost you when you actually give me a date. Courtesy. Continue reading
God damn the ones who say they’re sorry
God damn the ones who say they’re not Continue reading
Sleep inside the box
Walk outside the box
Dream inside the box
Swim outside the box
Lie inside the box
Talk outside the box
Hide inside the box
Leave air holes outside the box
Keep out others inside the box
Stuff glitter into an eviction letter envelope
Stick Santa hats on the homeless for the papers
Strap fairy lights around each dilapidated building
Sing Christmas songs to your shadow every morning
Slip in a Merry when you hurt all those around you
Sink in that sherry when the past comes back to haunt you
Sculpt a snowman from the shit of winter victims
Make it festive, make it right
Hear a jingle, let’s all mingle
It’s the Christmas spirit
Depression, grief, misfortune
They mean nothing with a good old ‘ho ho ho’
Merry Merry Christmas, to one and all.
Okay everybody, shut the hell up for one minute
I’m here today to talk to you all about attention
No, I’m here to criticise you all about attention
So look at me, and put those phones down! Continue reading
I collect women’s hair
Keep them in a book
Find them in my clothes
Sometimes wonder how they’re doing
Those one night stands
and their multi-coloured strands Continue reading