Channel Static’s Films of 2014

The beginning of the year means its time to look over the year that’s been and gone… wait it’s June already?  Never mind, it’s always fine to look back, the past always shackles us anyway. Think of it as a mid year awards ceremony which still needs to think of the years gone by as if they are still shiny and new. Some of these have only recently received DVD releases anyway, so let’s roll with it!
10. Nightcrawler nightcrawler Having true passion for your job is something we would all like. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we could engage in every aspect of our day to day role of earning money to keep afloat? Sometimes you just have to really push for what you want to do in life.

In Nightcrawler, Lou Bloom loves his job, a job which involves driving around looking for crime to record and use for a news station. The bigger the crime, the more fun he has, and his Patrick Batemen-esque persona makes for a truly energetic film to display just how vulture like the media can be when it comes to dragging out a top story. Might as well make money from what you enjoy doing, and Nightcrawler is a semblance of just what that can entail for some people. Continue reading

Soul In The Stone

If you’re lost in life, hold onto this stone. It will help you find your way through the maze that is life. When it’s in your breast pocket, an arrow can be seen pointing you to the right places. It doesn’t play tricks, and all those traps you skewer yourself with will be avoided. It’s a truly magical stone.

And then I lost the stone.

stone

Vomit Heart

I sit in a hotel room reading a handy guide on my phone, ‘How to die in 5 Successful Steps’. I have a gun in my hand as noted in the requirements section and each step seems to make too much sense.

Die successfully with these five incredible simple steps! Boom!

  1. Load the gun with ammo, to avoid shooting blanks.
  2. Turn the safety off.
  3. Stick gun in mouth.
  4. Think of all the people you hate and how they hate you. Don’t forget to hate yourself too.
  5. Pull the trigger.

It’s as simple as that. If you weren’t dead, you could give yourself a thumbs up.

I have the safety off, but I’m struggling to get the gun end into my mouth. Simple, my ass! I look around the shabby hotel room I’d paid for the night. This is where it all began, and this is where it will end. I think. Continue reading