I was told to get a house plant to give me something to look after. If I started looking after the plant, which was a cacti, I’d start looking after myself. That was the idea, and for a time it was an idea which worked. The plant stayed healthy, I pricked my fingers a few times, but I also stayed healthy. The two of us were on the up! I’d get out of bed before 11 a.m. And even wave to the postman.
But one day the cacti gave up, no matter how much I watered it, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do. So I decided to talk to the cacti, encourage it to be alive.
‘Go on little cacti, you have to keep going.’
The cacti remained silent.
‘There is so much to live for!’
‘I mean sure you’re stuck in that little spot, but you can see outside when I open the blinds. You can breath in the fresh air when I open the window! And you don’t have to worry about money, romance, friendship, mental anguish, violence, housing… you don’t have to worry about anything!’
‘You think you can die so easily don’t you? I can’t die so easily, no one will let me, my consciousness won’t let me. But here you are dropping dead in front of me. Do you not realise how that makes me feel?!’
The cacti turned to look at me.
‘Oh… man, it’s always about your feelings. Me, me, me , me , me, ‘the cacti responded in a mocking way.
Then it dropped dead. And all I could do was put the cacti in the bin and consider buying another one or not.
I ended up buying a fake flower. It had the same illusion if I watered it now and then.