Voice Mail

You have ‘one’ new voice mail.

‘Hello? Um, I’m not used to using a voice mail, but this is incredibly urgent!

I’ve just fallen over, I tripped over a swarm of pigeons, and I hit my head pretty hard.

Now don’t worry Denise, there was a little blood but I’m sending this message now, so you know it can’t be all that bad. I’ll just have a bigger bump between my eyebrows than usual.

But enough about me, this urgent message is about you! When I conked out amidst the flying rats, I saw a vision of the future. A future which saw you riddled with bullets due to a bank robber disguised as a politician, and you don’t expect them to cause direct violence. So stay away from banks, and stay away from men with Rolex watches and shiny shoes. Seriously!

End of messages. To listen to the message again, press 1, to save the message, press 2, to delete the message, press 3.

I cancelled my voice mail and sat down on a nearby bench. I wondered just who this Denise actually was. I checked the time on my Rolex, and looked at my shows. They weren’t that shiny.

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