Are tears clean, or are they dirty? I ask myself this as they drip onto the dirty plates and milky cups. I wonder if they’ll wash away the dirt or make things muddier. Are the tears a natural dishwasher of the world, or a leaky drip?
I wash up on a daily basis, and I never cry, but that day was different. I just couldn’t stop crying as I looked upon all the dirty dishes, and before I knew it, the basin was full of water before I’d even turned the tap. I used them to wash up. They were warm and I’d like to think that a crying man is pure rather than unclean.
I noticed a difference when I went to eat my food the next day. The beans on toast I typically make for myself on a rainy day, on a cloudy day, and on a sunny day, tasted much the same as usual. But when I went to bed I couldn’t stop crying. I drenched the sheets, and my tears tasted and smelt, like beans on toast.
This happened over the course of the next few days. I’d cry noodles, I’d cry microwave meals, and I knew the tears had done something to my dishes. I didn’t have the problem when I avoided my cutlery, but I just ended up crying tasteless tears anyway.
So I decided to stop eating and drinking, for the tears were just too much. No more tears, for I had no more energy for them, and I couldn’t make it to work, I couldn’t make it to the phone. But no one called, no one knocked on the door. I realised just what these tears were for. But it was too late.
I could no longer dry my eyes, and the flat flooded, drowning my instant noodles, drowning my clothes, drowning my cat and drowning my sink, no longer suited for the washing up. Who’d clean up this mess?